So... they said "no" to a Deathstar...

But fear not nerds out there...

Because one of the petitions that has gotten a "yea" from the White House is the recipe for their Honey Ale!

I know a couple brewing geeks who'll be rejoicing this one! (Apologies if this is old news to everyone else – I've been catching up on my reading a little recently, but it may not be going fast enough!)

Source: whitehouse.gov via Keyna on Pinterest

(Yes so I checked and it truly is old news as it was released in 2012. I'll catch up with the rest of you one day.)

Hello internet... you bloody weirdo.

Things discussed at the office #03:
(Lets go with 3 because I can't think I've done this enough to warrant a higher random number, but I do know I've posted about something spoken about at work before and am too lazy to go back and read how many)

A friend had something happen to her over the holidays that upset her enough to delete her Google+ profile, sign out of facebook, shut down her blog and generally get off the grid for a while.

This is what I'm thinking.
Remember when we were young girls in school and you'd have your work book which you'd painstakingly covered with magazine clippings of all your favourite things? It took hours and felt like "you". You couldn't wait to use your new khokis to pep up the title of your next creative writing task.
(Yes it was the 90's and yes I was a registered nerd...)
You turn to talk to a friend for a minute.
You swivel back as the teacher comes through the door to start the class and there, on your beautiful work, some boy has gone and drawn a penis.

WHY?!?!

Now here we are as happy (in some cases still a bit nerdy) adults, writing our blogs, putting ourselves out there and expressing ourselves with virtual equivalents of magazine clippings on Pinterest and the like...
Who comes along to make us regret our adventure of "putting ourselves out there"?
Why a man who has to show you his penis of course.

Not that much has changed in the world since the social networking age it seems.

Yes I know some people may say "Oh don't take yourself so seriously!" or "Don't let it get to you, it's no big deal". I agree that sometimes we can suck it up, block, delete and forget and go back to feeling empowered for having done that. I'm just saying there are some days when it actually feels more like you're going online and are about to bump into that terrifying flasher from when you were a small kid on the playground instead of a book scribbler...

Do my friend and I need to work on developing rhino hides to survive the neanderthals that prowl with their clubs momentarily leaning next to them allowing for better typing?

I'm almost tempted to thank the dumbass who sat in class with me back in the day for better preparing me to face the internet trolls of today... but I won't. Because I sincerely hope you've grown up and aren't taking photos of your penis with your smart phone.

I hadn't written in a long time on my blog for other reasons, but I hope that this post inspires my friend to get back out there... Her writing is beautiful (much better than mine) and the net would be a nicer place to have her back on it.

Bake more

Bake more! Yes, that'll be next year's resolution I think. Basically I've performed pretty badly at last year's resolution of painting 1 painting a month, so hopefully this next one will do better.

Why not? I mean, I was pretty nervous this last weekend past as I was helping a friend (debatable) and simultaneously cashing in my birthday present of a cupcake baking session with her amazing daughter Maddie. It wasn't just the potty training that I was afraid of... I couldn't quite think how I was going to bake cupcakes with a 3 year old when I think the last batch I made was a close catastrophe just on my own!

But I'm mad. Baking isn't hard, and takes no time at ALL! Maddie and I made beautiful caramel cupcakes in under half an hour. Okay I did help a little with the mixing bits when it got a little tough for her, but barely really.
If a 3 year old can pretty much make cupcakes I should be baking up a storm!

Bring on 2013  - the year of the lemon-meringue cupcake, chocolate brownies and tea biscuits!

Now... can I ask someone to check up on me? I'd really appreciate some help on this.
In exchange I'm sharing this neat idea for biscuits at your next tea party. Deal?

Source: sandrakavital.blogspot.com via Keyna on Pinterest

Reno-waiting

...That's what we seem to be doing.

There's this fantastic idea when you move into a new house that within a few month's you'll have made it your own. You excitedly hang up your photos, roll in your bookshelves and hang up some towels all the while envisaging the exact wall colours that'll be behind them in no time at all!
Thrilling!

Erm. Only problem is you forgot to win the lotto and you're generally a pretty lazy person. I mean I'm not totally slug-like and if I had the cash and the paint lying around I would LOVE to attack at least ONE room some time soon.

But there's a reason why this guy has accumulated 8 houses for free and I have still got the "dirty pink" bathroom to face every morning.

I think I'll watch this again and see if some of his enthusiasm can rub off on me!

Percussion terrorism...

Now this is a form of terrorism I can approve of! (of course this is before having watched the movie...)

Anyone know if there will be a screening in SA, and who would like to join me because I'm not sure this here boyfriend will be that interested.

Zombie Lovin

Impossible.
Lets get this straight quickly before I become convinced I should be worrying about myself:
People seems to think I love zombies.

Not true!
You can't love zombies. They're too gross! It's not like they're baby orangutans or elephants which are so bizarre looking that they're cute and you love them for it.
They're super rotting and oozing. Impossible to love see?

I DO love being prepared though.
I also love speculating about how certain people will react in certain situations and a zombie apocalypse presents a pretty extreme situation. Who survives? who looks out for others?... and who of course will go bat shit crazy and try to kill us all to ensure their own survival.
Mostly I wonder which one I'll be and then spend some time reassuring myself I won't be that last freak.

I DO tend to have a zombie apocalypse dream every 3 months or so. This is unfortunate and I have no real explanation other than it started after reading WWZ. Read it before the movie comes out and likely ruins it. It's bloody brilliant.

I DO enjoy zombie humour. But people please... love is such a strong word to be bandying about anywhere near the word zombies. Thanks.

Now THESE people love zombies... :)

For you...

You've encouraged and talked me into doing some ridiculous things that I was very hesitant to do.
Trying a new job - great!
Buying a house - no signs of regret here yet!
Getting a kitten - love her...

Mostly you're right about a lot of things. Now try and erase that you ever read this and lets go back to me always being right.

Happy Anniversary!
I think.

We meet again

You know the last week I've gotten 3 very unexpected friend requests on Facebook.

Honestly my once unbelievably strong feelings towards a couple of the people have faded. Anger, jealousy (...man I hate to admit that one) and betrayal being just 3 from a very long list I'd use to describe the dissolving of our relationships in the real world.
I'm just confused on top of genuinely surprised to see that they would once again like to be friends in Facebook land. Hell! I'm suspicious!

This will be one of the first times I ask for advice on this blog I think.
What does a person do in this situation?
Does forgive and forget stretch all the way to inviting that person back into your online life? Can't you just have forgiven and then, well, COMPLETELY forgotten?
In one of the cases, accepting the simple thing that is an online request would invite a LOT of questions from family members and friends not excluding "Are you mad?" - he was a boy who broke my heart you see.

It's repaired and all by now but perhaps somethings just don't go together. Like my memory and social networking. I'll be giving it some more thought this week I guess.

In the meantime HERE are some things that DO go together.
Superheros and Dinosaurs. (and here's a link to a previous post if that's not cool enough for you)
Just lovely

Source: society6.com via Keyna on Pinterest

I spy

In going with my whole Internet voyeur personality traits I keep displaying: It's confession time!

One of my favourite thrills of using Google Street view is when you see someone innocently going about their day on the street.
"Oh looky here... my hydrangeas need watering, I'll just pop out in my onderbroekie before they completely wilt..."
and BAM! You're online for millions of people to see!
I kinda wish I'd been outside doing something strange when they rode past my house, but alas, some of us have to work.

Speaking of work this leads me to "working girls".
A while back I found this book advertised online and I'm really considering getting it. These are the kind of things you can make using Google maps!
Pick an interesting topic that relates to location. Google. Print. Book! Wonderful.

No Man's Land is a self-published book by Mishka Henner who went online to find out where men sought prostitutes, and then compiled the images from Google Street View.

However the post where I found it does mention that some people found the book to be exploitative of the women's rights and upsetting as it's intrusive and insulting towards the women who may very well just be making a call or walking on the side of the road. They didn't give any rights to be in a book about prostitutes, but then google didn't ask permission for them to be online either.

I see what they're saying. I do, but it's also hard to deny these images are beautiful in an eerie and sad kind of way.
Then again... HAD I been outside the day Google drove past I might have been the one being called a prostitute.
Makes you think.

We've Lost it!

My lovely sister and I have started another blog! In her case it's an entirely plausible enterprise since she's very good at her updates (click and see!) I on the other hand, well this could be a bit of a challenge, but lets kick it off!

There is the chance that I may have lost it, thinking I can write for two blogs when I more regularly skip blog posts than actually post them.

Another thing I'm hoping to lose this month, besides my mind,  is weight! I decided this would be an appropriate topic for Pots & Pantyhose since it's something that even the most confident of us seem to worry about.

Am I thin enough? Can I pull off that kind of outfit? Does my bum look big in this? (It's a cliche men like to throw at us because it's true. Damn them.)

SURE! Worry about this stuff just a little. Try to eat healthily in general and you'll avoid the panic that my sister and I fall into every now and then (read about our diet adventure here), but don't worry about it too much.

No one likes that girl who verbally gabs on about what she's eating, how fat she is, or how she has to go to the gym or she feels simply huge. I was recently trapped at a table full of these women at a wedding and seriously considered poking my eye out. Especially as I was and probably still am twice their size. 

Besides... seriously? At a wedding? What are you people gastronomical masochists?

Here's an example of what we're aiming for – Curves! 

& please note that the pin up versions are just that tad bustier and a smidgen thinner in the waist. Aim for the figures on the left please – evil "photoshopping" has existed for ages!

via A Study of Feminine Beauty

1996

• Happily married & living with her husband in the US - A place she used to talk about so often at lunch time.

• Newly married and saving the world one brilliantly bold Kushn at a time!

• Engaged and just premiered an amazing documentary.

• Followed her heart overseas & broke our's by leaving us all too young.

• Recent home owner, kitten cuddler and constantly absorbed by the internet.


But I'll always remember us as 5 girls, sitting on the school field, eating our lunch and plotting our lives, loves & futures.
1996 changed me because of the friends that I'd add to my life that year.

Fun fact: At least 3 of us actually became what we'd always joked about.
The US resident, the Artist livening up the mother city, the Film-maker are all here...
Now I just need to start wearing more tie-dye so that the hippy can join the party

Things my Ouma said

There are two things which I very clearly remember my Ouma saying.

1. "My kind, jy het so 'n kleeeeein hartjie..."
It's not that she was saying I have a tiny unfeeling heart (Afrikaans can be mildly confusing some times) she was commenting on how sensitive I could be about everything.
I was a very awkward looking pre-teen. Sticks and stones break & all, but sometimes words CAN hurt people and I was always so hurt by silly things unthinking people said.
But hey... it could have also been a comment on how I cried for adverts and Dawie die Kabouter episodes all through the years. OK, it was most likely that...

Regardless, she was the one person that first got it through to me that it is what's on the inside that counts towards making you a happy person and can bring others happiness. Sure it is great to be nice to look at and it does open a million doors for people not necessarily worthy of adoration...
but it's when people get to know you and really see who you're trying to become that they'll come to love you.

2. The other thing was "always wash your own underwear". Definitely a more simple message, but still... when you really think about it... really good advice! No really! Think about it!

I often think about and miss her terribly. I would have loved to grow up to be like her - full of poise and grace - but we can't all be the same and I like to think that at the very least she'd be entertained by the notions that swim through my brain and the words that often run out unfiltered as I think aloud. And maybe also she'd have a chuckle at how I still fall over and whack my funny bones on EVERYTHING. I think I've actually turned out quite similar to how she would have expected... and that makes me quite happy.

{My Oupa on the other hand said things like "Ag gaan skyt jy!" and "Word jou gat nie a bietjie vet nie?" and "Come Keyna... come count my toes!"  I have had some colourful family members in my tree and I'm very grateful for it.}

(wtf) What the force?!?

Yesterday I got stuck in traffic for 2hours on the way to work. Bad huh?
I thought so. Till today when I got stuck for 3hours!

ONE thing cheered me up as I tried to calm down and NOT injure myself or the next person who forced their way onto an entirely congested highway...the fact that it's INTERNATIONAL STAR WARS DAY!
Man, was I wishing for the Millenium Falcon to swing by and rescue me off that N1...

When I got to work this motivational poster was waiting for me.

Bless you Master Yoda... I will try to remember your words when my rage feels like it's going to start leaking out of my mouth

Yoda: Control, control, you must learn control!

Microwhatthe!

The other night we went out to Cattle Baron in Durbanville (oh Chateaubriand... how I love thee), so of course while surrounded by mouthwatering food and a bottle of Nederberg Baronne WE think now is a great time to talk about how delicious it it when you over-microwave the simple vienna sausage.
Yes, we be heathens.

This morning I stumbled across the site Microwhat thanks to SwissMiss.
Now I'm not going to run home and throw out my microwave... no ways! But maybe it'll give us all a little pause before we think about microwaving the crap out of something. In our case – distractions everywhere, modern lives and all that – it'll likely only be a short pause and it'll probably be to say "I also want to microwave toothpaste to make it do that!"

seriously though... I should have been micrwaving and documenting it all these years! Go and look at this tumblr! It's both fascinating and worrying.

What gave me a slightly longer pause was this woman! It's kinda scary. Like Death Becomes Her but the secret elixir is actually the juice of your homegrown broccoli. Eep!

Maybe if I try and do at least 1 raw meal a week it will save me from some of the wrinkles and leave me to reheat in peace... maybe.

a quick explanation...

I struggle to explain to people WHAT kind of nerd/geek I was as a kid.

I finally figured out a fast way to illustrate it thanks to watching Napoleon Dynamite again!

I started out like this:

Side pony, "fanny pack" and home made jewelery ALL included.

Then I cut my hair:

Love of soul music, attitude (GEEZ!), awkward dancing and yes... THIS hairstyle also included.

So simple really :) 

Now you know...

My inner teenager rebels...

but not too much.

I never quite got the rebelling thing down when I was younger. Being a horrid cheeky brat to my mother I aced – sneaking out, smoking or lying about boys, I left all that to my peers.

It's not that I didn't think about it, but I settled into who I really was quite early. A clumsy (there goes sneaking), slightly ocd (cannot handle the feel of a cigarette in my hand without wanting to wash) socially awkward ("how DOES one speak to boys anyway?") girl who would later become a similar adult! WIN!

SO it's hard to relate to the Hoodies who were the terror of London last year. My mother wouldn't even allow me to go to the mall 5km's away without submitting an itinerary of my plans for approval.
However the moment I read this post on Gizmodo "Acne Enhancing Pink Lighting Used To Deter Loitering Youths" the teenager in me panicked completely!

Pffft! Ah hell... I guess let them do it actually. It may be a little cruel, sure... but if it works and stops some of the nonsense going on then that HAS to be a good thing right? Scared citizens can now walk safely toward the pastel pink light!

Just a few questions:
Won't the pink lights look a little like "red lights" and lead to some awful confusion?
and as the article jokes "it does nothing to deter the more attractive teens who aren't dealing with the unfortunate side effects of puberty."
So will the "mean girls" and boys of our high school years still be able to prowl around? Will the world ever be fair? damn.

I still think my mom should hold seminars with new parents as to how to encourage your child into the geeky/nerd way of life. They'll suffer only mildly (and perhaps hold a few strange grudges into adulthood) but they WILL thank you for it later. Or at least I do...

Damn you Mr Stump

Here's kinda how the other afternoon went.

PROGRESSION from "meh" to obsessive love of a song:
I was listening to new music I got. This song plays.
"Hey isn't this Patrick Stump from Fallout Boy?"

+
I have always loved his voice, but gave a song or two a listen from his solo album and didn't fall in love. I'd resigned myself to officially missing Fallout Boy and my ridiculous twenties. Now this song at first was the same... till something hooked me. I hit replay and listened to the words & they're great.
"Oh nostalgia, I don't need you anymore
'Cause the salad days are over and the meat is at my door"

+
Then i started thinking about my little sister and how much fun we would have singing this song if she were stuck in traffic with me right then. I started thinking about how the words apply to some of the crap she's had to go through over these last few years and how she's still managed to be one of the most compassionate and caring people I know. (& no that doesn't make her any less bad ass for those that know her...)

+
So I Soundtrack the song and that sister posts the video of the song.
Damn you Mr Stump and the director of your music video for being so clever. When that dog runs and jumps that hurdle...


= I have no choice but to <3 it. I'm done for.

oh yes! And I've also realised I really need to get round to developing a youtube worthy skill.

Pinterest Predictions

Some people see signs in everything. Some people are also completely paranoid and delusional... but I like to think that you can be a more positive version within the delusional bracket too. That surely can't be too bad a thing to be can it?

Well I hope so... I don't always like to think of myself as totally batty. 

As it is, I already try to reign myself in when it comes to "seeing things". The problem starts because it's actually quite a comforting thing to do. 

THIS was a particularly rough Monday. 

THESE are the signs and advice that let me know it'll all be OK. 

Sometimes being a little crazy and taking comfort from signs that the Internet sends you is a fine way to be.

Source: iwantthat.co.za via Keyna on Pinterest

(SIDE NOTE: Also, my mom really did sing this to me all the time! I've always been that little bit awful at handling unexpected things life has thrown at me. :) Must be why I'm always being given so much to practise on...)

Useless (yet interesting) infographic of the day

I'm sitting in my 6th work environment over the span of 10 years. I don't think that's too shabby for someone who wasn't entirely sure what the hell they wanted to do with their life.

I've been in varied office spaces involving everything from colour correcting little tykes faces from purple back into a shade of human, to picking out Pantone shades for vases and duvet prints and yet one thing is constant – the ebb and flow of stationary on your desk.

One day you have 3 perfectly functioning black fineliners and then next you only have a crusty dry highlighter and 2 sandy Postit Notes that have lost their stick.
You try everything:
- Labeling your stationary reminiscent of being in Grade 1 (it feels ridiculous and there's a following compulsion to label your clothing when you get home...)
- Buying your self unique purple pens that the stationary department would never supply
- Buying a pink pen in case it's a male colleague who's the culprit
- Buying a HIDEOUS pen that surely no-one would want

None of these ideas will work! Because...

100% of office workers surveyed admitted to stealing a pen. This crime is unstoppable! (and go on... you know you've gotten home and found a pen in your bag and no real idea how it got there.)

Source: visual.ly via Keyna on Pinterest

Old and new memories

I didn't actually have much time this last week to stretch my brain muscle and come up with something to write.

Solution: Post some pictures I took while tidying and packing up my life to move into my new home.

It's an odd collection, but if you'd like to know me better here are a few odds and ends I took pics of to send to various friends (emphasis you'll find, should be placed on the word "odd")

I'm one of THOSE tourists. The ones who can't resist the mugs, the key rings or the spoons with the name of the place you're visiting on them

I'll always love you Cheetara. You will always have a place in my home - even if for now it's hidden safely from Neil in the garage.

I didn't expect to find so much of Lindsay still in my room and life... but I'm so happy I did. I still miss her all the time and I hope she would have loved my new home and have been proud of how eventually even I have to grow up a little.

Trace is actually visiting from the US at the moment. In a good way, she hasn't really changed since this photo was taken almost 10 years ago. Still kind, funny and beautiful.

THE pink bathroom. I should have gotten the tiles in this image so you could see the full, glorious effect. 

Apparently I don't keep only MY old student cards. What a weird surprise! (and no... I don't know why I keep ANY student cards. I just do)

Two very funny brothers. Glad I've known them for as long as I have!

Just one of those small examples of how caring Luce is.

After a 20-something hour flight out to London to possibly say goodbye to a sick friend in hospital, we arrived to find Lucy had come to pick us up at the airport, written instructions so we wouldn't get lost, cooked us supper and had hugs at the ready. 

And she's one of those people who has NO idea that what she does isn't every day normal behavior.

Once upon a time a group of friends drove to Durban for a weekend. Taking home a spur table piece seemed like a good idea at the time. As did fashioning a petrol cap from a red bull can.

Old friends: What ever happened to Frizzy? I hear he's happy and that makes me oddly happy too. 

Some boys are so funny. You just can't help loving them in the end...

Again, I  have no idea why I would have this, having never gone to Stellenberg myself, but it makes me smile and so I'm awfully glad it fell into my hands. I wish we'd already become friends when we were both this age  - I think highschool might have been more bearable for both of us. Definitely for me!

I remember when you guys met. I remember how happy I was for my friend. I remember a few years later taking this photo and still feeling happy for you :)

This morning I woke up and felt the same kind of happy for myself.