(wtf) What the force?!?

Yesterday I got stuck in traffic for 2hours on the way to work. Bad huh?
I thought so. Till today when I got stuck for 3hours!

ONE thing cheered me up as I tried to calm down and NOT injure myself or the next person who forced their way onto an entirely congested highway...the fact that it's INTERNATIONAL STAR WARS DAY!
Man, was I wishing for the Millenium Falcon to swing by and rescue me off that N1...

When I got to work this motivational poster was waiting for me.

Bless you Master Yoda... I will try to remember your words when my rage feels like it's going to start leaking out of my mouth

Yoda: Control, control, you must learn control!

Microwhatthe!

The other night we went out to Cattle Baron in Durbanville (oh Chateaubriand... how I love thee), so of course while surrounded by mouthwatering food and a bottle of Nederberg Baronne WE think now is a great time to talk about how delicious it it when you over-microwave the simple vienna sausage.
Yes, we be heathens.

This morning I stumbled across the site Microwhat thanks to SwissMiss.
Now I'm not going to run home and throw out my microwave... no ways! But maybe it'll give us all a little pause before we think about microwaving the crap out of something. In our case – distractions everywhere, modern lives and all that – it'll likely only be a short pause and it'll probably be to say "I also want to microwave toothpaste to make it do that!"

seriously though... I should have been micrwaving and documenting it all these years! Go and look at this tumblr! It's both fascinating and worrying.

What gave me a slightly longer pause was this woman! It's kinda scary. Like Death Becomes Her but the secret elixir is actually the juice of your homegrown broccoli. Eep!

Maybe if I try and do at least 1 raw meal a week it will save me from some of the wrinkles and leave me to reheat in peace... maybe.

a quick explanation...

I struggle to explain to people WHAT kind of nerd/geek I was as a kid.

I finally figured out a fast way to illustrate it thanks to watching Napoleon Dynamite again!

I started out like this:

Side pony, "fanny pack" and home made jewelery ALL included.

Then I cut my hair:

Love of soul music, attitude (GEEZ!), awkward dancing and yes... THIS hairstyle also included.

So simple really :) 

Now you know...

My inner teenager rebels...

but not too much.

I never quite got the rebelling thing down when I was younger. Being a horrid cheeky brat to my mother I aced – sneaking out, smoking or lying about boys, I left all that to my peers.

It's not that I didn't think about it, but I settled into who I really was quite early. A clumsy (there goes sneaking), slightly ocd (cannot handle the feel of a cigarette in my hand without wanting to wash) socially awkward ("how DOES one speak to boys anyway?") girl who would later become a similar adult! WIN!

SO it's hard to relate to the Hoodies who were the terror of London last year. My mother wouldn't even allow me to go to the mall 5km's away without submitting an itinerary of my plans for approval.
However the moment I read this post on Gizmodo "Acne Enhancing Pink Lighting Used To Deter Loitering Youths" the teenager in me panicked completely!

Pffft! Ah hell... I guess let them do it actually. It may be a little cruel, sure... but if it works and stops some of the nonsense going on then that HAS to be a good thing right? Scared citizens can now walk safely toward the pastel pink light!

Just a few questions:
Won't the pink lights look a little like "red lights" and lead to some awful confusion?
and as the article jokes "it does nothing to deter the more attractive teens who aren't dealing with the unfortunate side effects of puberty."
So will the "mean girls" and boys of our high school years still be able to prowl around? Will the world ever be fair? damn.

I still think my mom should hold seminars with new parents as to how to encourage your child into the geeky/nerd way of life. They'll suffer only mildly (and perhaps hold a few strange grudges into adulthood) but they WILL thank you for it later. Or at least I do...

Damn you Mr Stump

Here's kinda how the other afternoon went.

PROGRESSION from "meh" to obsessive love of a song:
I was listening to new music I got. This song plays.
"Hey isn't this Patrick Stump from Fallout Boy?"

+
I have always loved his voice, but gave a song or two a listen from his solo album and didn't fall in love. I'd resigned myself to officially missing Fallout Boy and my ridiculous twenties. Now this song at first was the same... till something hooked me. I hit replay and listened to the words & they're great.
"Oh nostalgia, I don't need you anymore
'Cause the salad days are over and the meat is at my door"

+
Then i started thinking about my little sister and how much fun we would have singing this song if she were stuck in traffic with me right then. I started thinking about how the words apply to some of the crap she's had to go through over these last few years and how she's still managed to be one of the most compassionate and caring people I know. (& no that doesn't make her any less bad ass for those that know her...)

+
So I Soundtrack the song and that sister posts the video of the song.
Damn you Mr Stump and the director of your music video for being so clever. When that dog runs and jumps that hurdle...


= I have no choice but to <3 it. I'm done for.

oh yes! And I've also realised I really need to get round to developing a youtube worthy skill.

Pinterest Predictions

Some people see signs in everything. Some people are also completely paranoid and delusional... but I like to think that you can be a more positive version within the delusional bracket too. That surely can't be too bad a thing to be can it?

Well I hope so... I don't always like to think of myself as totally batty. 

As it is, I already try to reign myself in when it comes to "seeing things". The problem starts because it's actually quite a comforting thing to do. 

THIS was a particularly rough Monday. 

THESE are the signs and advice that let me know it'll all be OK. 

Sometimes being a little crazy and taking comfort from signs that the Internet sends you is a fine way to be.

Source: iwantthat.co.za via Keyna on Pinterest

(SIDE NOTE: Also, my mom really did sing this to me all the time! I've always been that little bit awful at handling unexpected things life has thrown at me. :) Must be why I'm always being given so much to practise on...)

Useless (yet interesting) infographic of the day

I'm sitting in my 6th work environment over the span of 10 years. I don't think that's too shabby for someone who wasn't entirely sure what the hell they wanted to do with their life.

I've been in varied office spaces involving everything from colour correcting little tykes faces from purple back into a shade of human, to picking out Pantone shades for vases and duvet prints and yet one thing is constant – the ebb and flow of stationary on your desk.

One day you have 3 perfectly functioning black fineliners and then next you only have a crusty dry highlighter and 2 sandy Postit Notes that have lost their stick.
You try everything:
- Labeling your stationary reminiscent of being in Grade 1 (it feels ridiculous and there's a following compulsion to label your clothing when you get home...)
- Buying your self unique purple pens that the stationary department would never supply
- Buying a pink pen in case it's a male colleague who's the culprit
- Buying a HIDEOUS pen that surely no-one would want

None of these ideas will work! Because...

100% of office workers surveyed admitted to stealing a pen. This crime is unstoppable! (and go on... you know you've gotten home and found a pen in your bag and no real idea how it got there.)

Source: visual.ly via Keyna on Pinterest

Old and new memories

I didn't actually have much time this last week to stretch my brain muscle and come up with something to write.

Solution: Post some pictures I took while tidying and packing up my life to move into my new home.

It's an odd collection, but if you'd like to know me better here are a few odds and ends I took pics of to send to various friends (emphasis you'll find, should be placed on the word "odd")

I'm one of THOSE tourists. The ones who can't resist the mugs, the key rings or the spoons with the name of the place you're visiting on them

I'll always love you Cheetara. You will always have a place in my home - even if for now it's hidden safely from Neil in the garage.

I didn't expect to find so much of Lindsay still in my room and life... but I'm so happy I did. I still miss her all the time and I hope she would have loved my new home and have been proud of how eventually even I have to grow up a little.

Trace is actually visiting from the US at the moment. In a good way, she hasn't really changed since this photo was taken almost 10 years ago. Still kind, funny and beautiful.

THE pink bathroom. I should have gotten the tiles in this image so you could see the full, glorious effect. 

Apparently I don't keep only MY old student cards. What a weird surprise! (and no... I don't know why I keep ANY student cards. I just do)

Two very funny brothers. Glad I've known them for as long as I have!

Just one of those small examples of how caring Luce is.

After a 20-something hour flight out to London to possibly say goodbye to a sick friend in hospital, we arrived to find Lucy had come to pick us up at the airport, written instructions so we wouldn't get lost, cooked us supper and had hugs at the ready. 

And she's one of those people who has NO idea that what she does isn't every day normal behavior.

Once upon a time a group of friends drove to Durban for a weekend. Taking home a spur table piece seemed like a good idea at the time. As did fashioning a petrol cap from a red bull can.

Old friends: What ever happened to Frizzy? I hear he's happy and that makes me oddly happy too. 

Some boys are so funny. You just can't help loving them in the end...

Again, I  have no idea why I would have this, having never gone to Stellenberg myself, but it makes me smile and so I'm awfully glad it fell into my hands. I wish we'd already become friends when we were both this age  - I think highschool might have been more bearable for both of us. Definitely for me!

I remember when you guys met. I remember how happy I was for my friend. I remember a few years later taking this photo and still feeling happy for you :)

This morning I woke up and felt the same kind of happy for myself.

Word Mens

Man there are times where I feel an affection for Afrikaans more than I think I could ever feel for English.
Perhaps there's someone you know who has grown too big for their boots, their ego swelling till you feel claustrophobic in their company, and their actions so RIDICULOUS that you want to shake them.

Just tell them: "Word mens."

SO simple. What a bloody brilliant way to put it.

And if you feel you're in danger of becoming the person who has to have this said to them... try this.

A special thanks for the idea for this post goes to the wonderful Amanda. I remember as a kid thinking to myself, if I could just be as cool and vibrant as you... then wow, I would be happy. Seeing her this past weekend I realise nothing has changed really, even if I've doubled in height.
I'm still going to try and be as full of positive energy as you always seem to be!
(And I'll keep in mind for myself there's always someone cooler than I am :D)

We were talking about someone and you said she'd be happier if she just would just "word mens" and you're right. Humble is the way to go.

And an extra little "dankie aan Maresa". I learn WONDERFUL new Afrikaans sayings every single time I see you! How could I write something about "die taal" without including you huh? Plus you help to keep me firmly down to earth and I'm grateful.

No offense, but...

 ...stop calling me.

Ah the bane of our lives. Telesales.
I will admit there is a small part of me that feels bad for the poor sods who're earning a living cold calling people. You cannot win. There is never a good time to call anyone if you're not a friend or family member. During office hours, we're working (or writing blogs... ya know?) and after hours you're invading our "me time". How very dare you?
So I do try my best to be polite and patient. Honest.

Actually I've even started to feel bad for the "beep-bank" employee on the radio advert who keeps phoning people only to have his fortune read to him by people who already bank with FNB (or is it Nedbank? See I'm not sure if this series of ad's is effective for me anymore).
I think it started out as a brilliant concept, I mean who hasn't had daydreams about messing with that pushy person interrupting your day. It played nicely on schadenfreude for all of us as well.
But now the campaign is in it's 4th or 5th installment and I'm actually really starting to want to give poor Steve a hug! "Be polite you imaginary bastards! Yes your bank is cooler, but Steve's just doing his job. He has to eat!"
When I caught myself yelling this at my radio the other day I had another of those moments where I realize I'm a bit mad.

The telesales problem has continued to spiral more and more out of control for a lot of people and there are some innovative ways I've seen to try and keep your cool when the 3rd call of the day happens:
• Place your phone on counter and walk away to make some coffee.
• Try to sell THEM your couch. And when they say they already have a couch... just say "precisely"
• Start singing
• or the most popular reaction: talk over them saying "no thanks no thanks" and hang up. This has to be done really quickly before your blood has time to heat up at all, let alone begin to boil.

Then again, there's apparently THIS option someone sent me the other day. I haven't signed up yet, but if I do I'll let you know how it goes and I hope you'll let me know as well if you get to it before me.

"The DCM (Don't Contact Me Database) helps you to make sure your address, email address, telephone and cell number are no longer available to organisations, who are members of the DMA, who want to make offers and send information that you do not wish to receive."

You can of course also do this by contacting companies directly and asking them not to contact you... but WHO has that much time to phone so many people... unless of course you're in telesales.

Awkward. What a cool word!

Just call me Socially Awkward girl!

I had another one of those evenings a friday and a bit ago, where you're sitting in a pub, in your home town and about 9 people you went to high school with stroll in.

What the hell does one do? No matter how hard I try I can't bring myself to stroll over and hand out hugs as if we're long lost friends. Sure, that would be lovely, but I'm half the time not sure they even remember who I am! There've been more than two incidents where the conversation has gone something along the lines of:

"Hi there 'popular person because of your surprisingly strong jawline as a teenage boy from class of 1999'. How are you?"
"Oh hey! Um... Kezia er Kiera right? Yeah! Great! How goes it"

(let it slide let it slide)

"Yes, really well thanks!"
"Are you still with that guy you dated back in highschool? The really short one from the sound and lighting crew?"

(at this point do you still just go with it even though that's completely false... or do you go with the possibly more gut churning "hahah I wish! No I didn't date anyone in highschool... ever. Remember?")

"No, that didn't really go anywhere...since he didn't know about it."
"Oh wait! Aren't you gay now?"
"Not in recent rumours I've heard... I think it died down a bit after 2001."

(Awkward silence as the person tries to decide if I'm joking or not. While I start to giggle like a loon.)

"Anyway it was nice seeing you..."
"Yes definitely! You still have a really nice strong jawline by the way."
(...and flee in terror)

This same Friday in question I was also involved in a conversation that went like this
"What do you think Keyna? Is Jessie more a girl or a boy's name?"
"I think it could be a more boy dog's name?...Oh wait... shit... are we talking about names for your baby?"

SO to all those who spot me out and about from school years, PLEASE see my friendly wave as the heartfelt hello it's actually meant as!
Some believe it's a miracle I venture out in society and have friends at all.
Thank goodness for those that understand my gibberish and especially to my boyfriend who's clearly bloody nuts to stick it out half the time! Bless you!
This is how it went down with us huh?

Just like that.

Dear 2012

First, a small confession about my NYE post. I actually wrote it just before I rushed out to a 3hour car ride to Struisbaai where I knew I'd have no real internet connection to write something up.
This doesn't really make any difference I reasoned, since it was all reflection on 2011 and I was quite convinced that everything that could happen was pretty much wrapped up 3 days before all our calendars flipped over to 2012.
Right?

I still feel fond emotions for 2011 as it treated me quite kindly, but not so much all my friends and family. Seems some rather ridiculous things waited to happen in the last 2 months to people that I only just recently heard about. So here is an extra post... and a small request.

Dear 2012, 
Please be a little kinder to all my close friends and family. I hold them dear because they're already so strong and have proved themselves survivors of sadness and heartache. Could we give those two themes a break and bless them all with happier moments in the months to come. Chat to your friend Karma, because I'm pretty sure she has a lot of debts to pay up – she seems to be fond of slacking.
My friends are beautiful enough...

This song is dedicated to The League (which contains an extraordinary gentleman...).

Gosh 2011...

... You were awesome.

Looking back over previous New Years posts I've done, it's kinda clear that although my 20's weren't the worst years of my life, they weren't exactly a piece of cake either.

This year, I am grateful for so many things, I feel a bit as if I'm bursting when I think about it. This of course makes me very nervous because although I'm often told I can be an incorrigible optimist (read "annoying"), I'm actually pretty good at "Final Destination" imaginings and all too often get the "Crud. I'm happy. What's going to go wrong here?" feeling.

Well, give a big welcome to this years resolution – to banish thoughts like that and relax.
Now on to the list for 2011:

• Travelled! Finally! TWICE! (what more is there to say? That in itself makes me so happy I get a big smile just thinking about it.)

Hopefully in 2012 I'll find a moment to make one of these for our wall at home. Clever ain't it? Express your love for all the places you've seen for all to see.

• Studied. Proud of me. I have no idea if I passed or not yet, but just the fact that I finished something feels just fine thanks!
• Painted. Not the 6 paintings I meant to paint, but 1 for my long-waiting Aunt. Also drew and doodled more than any other year.
• Spent 2 weeks alone with my partner in mischief and we didn't kill each other. We came close twice, but recovered well. (Trust me this is a great thing to be grateful for! Worries are now cast aside)
• B-b-b-b-bb-bought a HOUSE!

2011 is leaving me feeling more rested than I have in quite a while and I'm so grateful to all my friends who have helped make it so. It's weird thinking about everything that has actually happened in the world as it's turned upside down in so many ways. I'd already forgotten half of what happened this year... I hope future children in school will find the number an easy one to remember when they sit in their history exams!

Lets look back with Jib Jab. It's pretty America focussed but still worth a watch, if only for the fact that it's all done by a popsicle stick puppet choir!

P.S. In 2012 I plan on watching a WHOLE lot more Korean cinema and series. Care to join me? If so you're a bit behind but I'll wait for you. On the list so far is the highly recommended "Castaway on the Moon" and then also the chick flick "Sunny". Go! Go! 

Ah yes... and for series watch "The First Shop of Coffee Prince". I was addicted. 

Gong Yoo: More recently stars in "Finding Mr Destiny" and "The Crucible" which are on my to watch list.

(Anyone care to introduce me to him? huh?)

Christmas Cheer

Bless the funny, witty people out there. YOU have made my Christmas.
This of course includes my madcap family (as well all you extended members we've collected over the years.)

These two gems from the net had me chuckling so enthusiastically that my belly shook like a bowl full of jelly.

I hope everyone has a very merry day and gets as much enjoyment out of these two creations as I did!

Doesn't this just make a ton of sense to your child brain? Of course Santa is most fantastic!

 "and mama in her kerchief and I in my cap, had just settled ... our brains..."

(Zombie Christmas?)

Those unexplainables...

OK, to be fair none of the mysterious injuries I've found the next morning after a night out could really count as completely unexplainable... there's this lovely concoction called alcohol that combines with my natural grace and coordination to render the results of an evening unpredictable. That I guess makes the whole whole question "What the... HOW'd I get this?" a silly one to ask.

I recently was mercilessly teased by some friends when I bemoaned the fact that surely a 30yr old grown-up woman should no longer have to worry about wearing longer skirts in case someone sees her latest grazed knee. (Not you too. I trip! Ok people? Happy?)

That following weekend we all went off to watch two VERY happy friends walk down the aisle. And what a celebration! It truly was one of the most fun wedding's I've been to with not just a band or a DJ, but instead a singing group called The Imaginations who we're great sports and only cried the tiniest bit with laughter as the groom sang Lionel Ritchie to his beautiful bride. Oh and how we DANCED! The best weddings are the ones with dancing and boy was there was plenty. So much so that I danced my teeny toenail off...
Gross and painful but...Hah!
I showed those teasing friends! These things just happen. Simple.
The good news is it really does warrant me getting these plasters I think, as surely I could now use the "DANCE OFF" one?

Now all I would change about these is I'd add one about Pirates to explain the brand new graze on my left knee I got from posing during the Twilight run. Nice.

Gimme More

So one of my favourite things about Pinterest (other than EVERYTHING about it) is the collecting of beautiful food imagery that's so much easier. If anyone I follow ever reads this and notices I've been inspired at work by one of your images, I hope you take it as the compliment it was meant as.

The plan is to actually TRY some of these recipes for a change rather than just reading a magazine, telling Miss G that I want to try half of them, putting the magazine down and then putting them all promptly out of mind.

So far I've tried this yum one, which already means on average my Pinterest collection is beating my magazine rack.

Here's the math involved in Keyna's surviving the summer:
Awful heat of Cape Town + this here recipe I pinned = almost possible 

This next bit is straight from the original blogger's mouth. Many thanks to Use Real Butter for blogging something so pinable and delicious!

Single Ingredient Ice Cream
from The Kitchn
4 bananas, just slightly overripe (brown spots good, completely black not so good)
2 tbsps creamy peanut butter (optional – thus 2 ingredient ice cream)
2 tsps cocoa powder (Dutch process), (optional – thus 2 or 3 ingredient ice cream depending on peanut butter)
DO NOT FREEZE THE WHOLE BANANA, you’ll have a heck of a time blending that beast.
Peel the bananas and slice them up into 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick disks. Place the banana slices in the freezer for about an hour or until they are frozen solid. Put the frozen slices in a food processor and pulse. First they will start to resemble gravel, but keep going. The bananas will soon turn into a frozen mush – at this point, start scraping the sides down (you will do this a lot). Or you could add a dash of milk since the liquid will help the blending. I’m lactose-intolerant, so after a few minutes of stopping to scrape the sides down, the banana begins to blend into a creamy texture. When the bananas look like whipped ice cream, you can add your mix-ins like peanut butter and/or cocoa powder, chocolate chips, toffee, raspberries, anything goes! Straight out of the food processor, the ice cream is like soft serve. You can also freeze it for a firmer texture. I find it’s pretty hard (and therefore, brittle) when I scoop it immediately after removing it from the freezer. Just give it a minute or two to soften up. Makes a pint.

Home Sweet Home

We're planning on taking a big big step. It's pretty much all in place - just waiting on nauseatingly large amounts of moola and a couple of signatures.

Hardly fathomable that we're so close to literally opening this door together and stepping into a new adventure. It'll lead to so many NEW questions we'll need to ask...

Important things like...

WILL he let me buy these to put on the walls and the kitchen? :P

Via Pinterest

from the series "Civil Star Wars" by Greg Peltz via Je Voudrais Que

Via Geek Alerts

Luckily there's still a couple of months to get him to warm up to the idea. I'm gonna need them!

I spy

I hope I see a hedghog! How difficult is it to bring one of those home with me to South Africa?

And this time I'm going to spot a fox! Hopefully it'll look like this, but I hear many many rumours they're a lot more mangy and disturbing. But this little guy... aww.

Off we go!

SO we're just a couple of hours away till I take my first lonesome long distance flight.
I'm off to see some incredibly good friends and family & I'm so excited I'm practically hyperventilating everytime I realise how close the trip is.

Partly it's nerves because, as I just mentioned, I've never flown long distance on my own before and of course there would be a stopover (that I have to google), but also because THIS cartoon kinda applies round about now. Yes I would be the dog... not the wise, wise rabbit.

Ch ch chaaanges

"Where have you been?"
I can hear all of you* asking me and I have a couple excuses lined up. Oh yes. Prepare yourself.

The last two weeks of October were an interesting time to say the least. I think I should stop giving people the advice that change is a good thing. It just seems to invite MORE changes into my own life. I have enough thanks!
Next time I should qualify it a bit more. "Don't worry! Change is always a good thing! For you mind you... not for me. I hate change, it's very stressful. But yeah for you, change is awesome! Do it!"
Here follows a list of some of the kinds of things I'm talking about:

Changed Jobs:
Thats right! I'm no longer in the mad world of publishing! instead I'm in the interesting world of people selling pots and things! Now that it's day 4 and I'm feeling a bit more settled with Lefty, my pot plant, in place and all... I'm starting to enjoy it! Minus the mishap of sitting through a meeting with my left eye's make-up actually sitting on my cheek – it's going well.

Finished Studies (for now):
Egad! what a disaster! I got it all wrong and thought my deadline for my studies was the 22 November. That would have already been quite tight as deadlines go since I'd been procrastinating quite nicely and would have needed to get it done before my trip (see the next point). Turned out my deadline for my project was actually the 28th of October. Nearly a whole month earlier than I'd thought. What a genius.
So I sucked it up, let go of my urge to sleep till it all passed, then let go of sleep all together really, cheated a LITTLE by using Dreamweaver to get the design moving and actually handed it in!

Applied, got my ancestral visa and am going to UK:
THIS is my favourite news so far! I am so very very very excited to finally be doing this. So far things on the agenda are a supper with Al and Michelle before they get married, a roller-disco night for my birthday present because Tam and Luce ROCK! Seeing Eugene and Hyo Jeung which I'm so excited for as well, AND then a fun bus trip down to cornwall to see my mom's family which I've ALWAYS wanted to do! I'm going to try and see if I find time to look up some addresses on our family tree as well and see if some things are still standing... you never know!

oh yes...
and I may have bought a house.
But this post is stupid long already so I'll save THAT saga for when it's more official.

OH OK! One more time... "Change IS good." Damn you wise ol' Mark Twain.

* I love to pretend it's not just me out there. ;)