Zombie Lovin

Impossible.
Lets get this straight quickly before I become convinced I should be worrying about myself:
People seems to think I love zombies.

Not true!
You can't love zombies. They're too gross! It's not like they're baby orangutans or elephants which are so bizarre looking that they're cute and you love them for it.
They're super rotting and oozing. Impossible to love see?

I DO love being prepared though.
I also love speculating about how certain people will react in certain situations and a zombie apocalypse presents a pretty extreme situation. Who survives? who looks out for others?... and who of course will go bat shit crazy and try to kill us all to ensure their own survival.
Mostly I wonder which one I'll be and then spend some time reassuring myself I won't be that last freak.

I DO tend to have a zombie apocalypse dream every 3 months or so. This is unfortunate and I have no real explanation other than it started after reading WWZ. Read it before the movie comes out and likely ruins it. It's bloody brilliant.

I DO enjoy zombie humour. But people please... love is such a strong word to be bandying about anywhere near the word zombies. Thanks.

Now THESE people love zombies... :)

I spy

In going with my whole Internet voyeur personality traits I keep displaying: It's confession time!

One of my favourite thrills of using Google Street view is when you see someone innocently going about their day on the street.
"Oh looky here... my hydrangeas need watering, I'll just pop out in my onderbroekie before they completely wilt..."
and BAM! You're online for millions of people to see!
I kinda wish I'd been outside doing something strange when they rode past my house, but alas, some of us have to work.

Speaking of work this leads me to "working girls".
A while back I found this book advertised online and I'm really considering getting it. These are the kind of things you can make using Google maps!
Pick an interesting topic that relates to location. Google. Print. Book! Wonderful.

No Man's Land is a self-published book by Mishka Henner who went online to find out where men sought prostitutes, and then compiled the images from Google Street View.

However the post where I found it does mention that some people found the book to be exploitative of the women's rights and upsetting as it's intrusive and insulting towards the women who may very well just be making a call or walking on the side of the road. They didn't give any rights to be in a book about prostitutes, but then google didn't ask permission for them to be online either.

I see what they're saying. I do, but it's also hard to deny these images are beautiful in an eerie and sad kind of way.
Then again... HAD I been outside the day Google drove past I might have been the one being called a prostitute.
Makes you think.

We've Lost it!

My lovely sister and I have started another blog! In her case it's an entirely plausible enterprise since she's very good at her updates (click and see!) I on the other hand, well this could be a bit of a challenge, but lets kick it off!

There is the chance that I may have lost it, thinking I can write for two blogs when I more regularly skip blog posts than actually post them.

Another thing I'm hoping to lose this month, besides my mind,  is weight! I decided this would be an appropriate topic for Pots & Pantyhose since it's something that even the most confident of us seem to worry about.

Am I thin enough? Can I pull off that kind of outfit? Does my bum look big in this? (It's a cliche men like to throw at us because it's true. Damn them.)

SURE! Worry about this stuff just a little. Try to eat healthily in general and you'll avoid the panic that my sister and I fall into every now and then (read about our diet adventure here), but don't worry about it too much.

No one likes that girl who verbally gabs on about what she's eating, how fat she is, or how she has to go to the gym or she feels simply huge. I was recently trapped at a table full of these women at a wedding and seriously considered poking my eye out. Especially as I was and probably still am twice their size. 

Besides... seriously? At a wedding? What are you people gastronomical masochists?

Here's an example of what we're aiming for – Curves! 

& please note that the pin up versions are just that tad bustier and a smidgen thinner in the waist. Aim for the figures on the left please – evil "photoshopping" has existed for ages!

via A Study of Feminine Beauty

Microwhatthe!

The other night we went out to Cattle Baron in Durbanville (oh Chateaubriand... how I love thee), so of course while surrounded by mouthwatering food and a bottle of Nederberg Baronne WE think now is a great time to talk about how delicious it it when you over-microwave the simple vienna sausage.
Yes, we be heathens.

This morning I stumbled across the site Microwhat thanks to SwissMiss.
Now I'm not going to run home and throw out my microwave... no ways! But maybe it'll give us all a little pause before we think about microwaving the crap out of something. In our case – distractions everywhere, modern lives and all that – it'll likely only be a short pause and it'll probably be to say "I also want to microwave toothpaste to make it do that!"

seriously though... I should have been micrwaving and documenting it all these years! Go and look at this tumblr! It's both fascinating and worrying.

What gave me a slightly longer pause was this woman! It's kinda scary. Like Death Becomes Her but the secret elixir is actually the juice of your homegrown broccoli. Eep!

Maybe if I try and do at least 1 raw meal a week it will save me from some of the wrinkles and leave me to reheat in peace... maybe.

Pinterest Predictions

Some people see signs in everything. Some people are also completely paranoid and delusional... but I like to think that you can be a more positive version within the delusional bracket too. That surely can't be too bad a thing to be can it?

Well I hope so... I don't always like to think of myself as totally batty. 

As it is, I already try to reign myself in when it comes to "seeing things". The problem starts because it's actually quite a comforting thing to do. 

THIS was a particularly rough Monday. 

THESE are the signs and advice that let me know it'll all be OK. 

Sometimes being a little crazy and taking comfort from signs that the Internet sends you is a fine way to be.

Source: iwantthat.co.za via Keyna on Pinterest

(SIDE NOTE: Also, my mom really did sing this to me all the time! I've always been that little bit awful at handling unexpected things life has thrown at me. :) Must be why I'm always being given so much to practise on...)

Word Mens

Man there are times where I feel an affection for Afrikaans more than I think I could ever feel for English.
Perhaps there's someone you know who has grown too big for their boots, their ego swelling till you feel claustrophobic in their company, and their actions so RIDICULOUS that you want to shake them.

Just tell them: "Word mens."

SO simple. What a bloody brilliant way to put it.

And if you feel you're in danger of becoming the person who has to have this said to them... try this.

A special thanks for the idea for this post goes to the wonderful Amanda. I remember as a kid thinking to myself, if I could just be as cool and vibrant as you... then wow, I would be happy. Seeing her this past weekend I realise nothing has changed really, even if I've doubled in height.
I'm still going to try and be as full of positive energy as you always seem to be!
(And I'll keep in mind for myself there's always someone cooler than I am :D)

We were talking about someone and you said she'd be happier if she just would just "word mens" and you're right. Humble is the way to go.

And an extra little "dankie aan Maresa". I learn WONDERFUL new Afrikaans sayings every single time I see you! How could I write something about "die taal" without including you huh? Plus you help to keep me firmly down to earth and I'm grateful.

No offense, but...

 ...stop calling me.

Ah the bane of our lives. Telesales.
I will admit there is a small part of me that feels bad for the poor sods who're earning a living cold calling people. You cannot win. There is never a good time to call anyone if you're not a friend or family member. During office hours, we're working (or writing blogs... ya know?) and after hours you're invading our "me time". How very dare you?
So I do try my best to be polite and patient. Honest.

Actually I've even started to feel bad for the "beep-bank" employee on the radio advert who keeps phoning people only to have his fortune read to him by people who already bank with FNB (or is it Nedbank? See I'm not sure if this series of ad's is effective for me anymore).
I think it started out as a brilliant concept, I mean who hasn't had daydreams about messing with that pushy person interrupting your day. It played nicely on schadenfreude for all of us as well.
But now the campaign is in it's 4th or 5th installment and I'm actually really starting to want to give poor Steve a hug! "Be polite you imaginary bastards! Yes your bank is cooler, but Steve's just doing his job. He has to eat!"
When I caught myself yelling this at my radio the other day I had another of those moments where I realize I'm a bit mad.

The telesales problem has continued to spiral more and more out of control for a lot of people and there are some innovative ways I've seen to try and keep your cool when the 3rd call of the day happens:
• Place your phone on counter and walk away to make some coffee.
• Try to sell THEM your couch. And when they say they already have a couch... just say "precisely"
• Start singing
• or the most popular reaction: talk over them saying "no thanks no thanks" and hang up. This has to be done really quickly before your blood has time to heat up at all, let alone begin to boil.

Then again, there's apparently THIS option someone sent me the other day. I haven't signed up yet, but if I do I'll let you know how it goes and I hope you'll let me know as well if you get to it before me.

"The DCM (Don't Contact Me Database) helps you to make sure your address, email address, telephone and cell number are no longer available to organisations, who are members of the DMA, who want to make offers and send information that you do not wish to receive."

You can of course also do this by contacting companies directly and asking them not to contact you... but WHO has that much time to phone so many people... unless of course you're in telesales.

Awkward. What a cool word!

Just call me Socially Awkward girl!

I had another one of those evenings a friday and a bit ago, where you're sitting in a pub, in your home town and about 9 people you went to high school with stroll in.

What the hell does one do? No matter how hard I try I can't bring myself to stroll over and hand out hugs as if we're long lost friends. Sure, that would be lovely, but I'm half the time not sure they even remember who I am! There've been more than two incidents where the conversation has gone something along the lines of:

"Hi there 'popular person because of your surprisingly strong jawline as a teenage boy from class of 1999'. How are you?"
"Oh hey! Um... Kezia er Kiera right? Yeah! Great! How goes it"

(let it slide let it slide)

"Yes, really well thanks!"
"Are you still with that guy you dated back in highschool? The really short one from the sound and lighting crew?"

(at this point do you still just go with it even though that's completely false... or do you go with the possibly more gut churning "hahah I wish! No I didn't date anyone in highschool... ever. Remember?")

"No, that didn't really go anywhere...since he didn't know about it."
"Oh wait! Aren't you gay now?"
"Not in recent rumours I've heard... I think it died down a bit after 2001."

(Awkward silence as the person tries to decide if I'm joking or not. While I start to giggle like a loon.)

"Anyway it was nice seeing you..."
"Yes definitely! You still have a really nice strong jawline by the way."
(...and flee in terror)

This same Friday in question I was also involved in a conversation that went like this
"What do you think Keyna? Is Jessie more a girl or a boy's name?"
"I think it could be a more boy dog's name?...Oh wait... shit... are we talking about names for your baby?"

SO to all those who spot me out and about from school years, PLEASE see my friendly wave as the heartfelt hello it's actually meant as!
Some believe it's a miracle I venture out in society and have friends at all.
Thank goodness for those that understand my gibberish and especially to my boyfriend who's clearly bloody nuts to stick it out half the time! Bless you!
This is how it went down with us huh?

Just like that.

Feeling Sluggish

I was browsing the site of one of my long-time favourite illustrators and found this great image.
(I'd avoided it for a while as I was incapable of emotionally distancing myself from some memories...*cough cough* Don't we all have and hate an evil ex?)

Now if only I hadn't been avoiding the site for that while. This would have been a perfect image for a weird little story.
Have you ever had a slug on you? There are a LOT of ads out there at the moment for snail gel and that sort of...ick. I had up until a year ago managed to avoid the scenario quite effectively. Even through all those weird tasks they set you in primary school (don't tell me I'm the only one?). I mean I've been told I'm a bit of an oddball when I get caught calling a little snail cute, but that does NOT mean any amount of wrinkles are going to make me like the idea of one sliming up my skin.

As I was leaving my friends house I reached down to get my bag and saw an ENORMOUS slug on my arm. Not even I expected the way I freaked out let alone my poor friend's dogs.
There was squealing and jumping around and a lot of post-moment gagging, (from me obviously not the pups) as well as the expected cacophony of laughter from those who'd seen.
Thats fine. If you're me this kind of thing happens all the time. Sure.
Now time for the hug goodbye near the gate. Reach up with both arms and... ANOTHER giant slug!
Cue now BOTH of us squealing and hopping around like lunatics.

Would you believe me if I told you that in the five steps it took me to actually get to that gate and leave her garden we found another 2 slugs on my body? It happened.
I should just get used to this kind of thing like the unphased lass in the pic above.
Love her expression, love the colours, love Stuntkid... and now I want her hair.

Had I been immortal...

Had I been immortal I think I would have definitely tried to save all my outfits and made this video!
(also forEVER would have given me time to actually learn these moves... ) In my head all this stuff really happens.

As Diamonds and Dust says on her blog "I can’t stop watching it."
Agreed!

Dots and fulllstops

I started another journal a while back (me and my journal issues huh?) and it reminded me again that I've become ridiculous with writing.
Everything ends on a question? or an outburst! When did I stop expressing myself like a nice normal-toned human being?
Why am I ending everything on an up sound... have I become Australian?
Point is (see what I did there?) that the good old full stop is underrated and I'm going to focus on remembering him in my writing and my speech.

I always used to have the urge to do dot-to-dot with them on book pages. How amazing were dot to dot drawings when you were a kid? Those and those other books where all you needed was some water and a paint brush and an awesome colourful painting would pop out of the page.
I miss them!
Then I found this and now I miss them even more.

Mona Lisa - 6,239 dot to dot drawing from Thomas Pavitte on Vimeo.

Via The Worlds Best Ever 

Now to find out where I can find one for my flat! 

Sorry, I meant flat.

Back in your box!

This image was just too good to resist.

Did I tell you all I'm finally studying web design and some basic programming stuff? huh? huh? I'm enjoying the "being creative in a structured environment" thing I must say!

I mean, I'm sure clients will come around eventually with a few interesting solutions to something I thought was pretty simple... but for now... LOVing it.

Go on, don't listen to everyone else... thinking in the box has it's own set of benefits! Go!

New Journal... you WILL be mine

...One day!
Yes I say that a lot.
Much the same way I say "One day I will go through and finish all those other journals I started and wrote half way as a teenager".
Maaaan they're scary things.

I found myself starting the journals in a happy head space, getting distracted by life as only a teen can, then only picking them up to write when things on my chest got a little too heavy.
Eventually I'd ignore them completely as I noticed everything I was writing was actually too depressing to even read back to myself! (Heaven forbid someone else actually stumbles across them after my death :P I'm attaching warning labels)
Press stop. Rewind. Press play... and so it loops.
Ridiculous.

It seems I've successfully convinced myself that "if life starts to get you down... toss your old journal into the back of a cupboard and start a new one!" It's a physical put-things-down-on-paper way of starting fresh!

To date my life is documented by about 7, half filled, journals and this blog. And may I once again say, "bless you Internet". You're a magical space where I feel obligated not to moan too much and where wonderful new discoveries wait for me every day to lift any kind of heavy heart.

Or you know... I could just BUY THIS and stop writing altogether. Life is easier to absorb in pretty pictures anyway.



found via The World's Best Ever

Also I was attracted to this because the person is drawing a robot. It makes it THAT much cooler.

Better than Barbie or Barney fo' sho

Contradiction...
One of the things I try very hard not to be is a hypocrite and yet some days I find little inconsistencies which tug at my brain going "hey... but yesterday you were moaning about that VERY thing!".

Here's an example. I haven't always been treated kindly by my chosen profession. Design is a harsh and fickle deity to worship and loves reminding you that you'll never quite be able to completely absorb or understand everything. So I hate telling people I'm a designer. Absolutely, utterly, hate it. I always feel like they immediately put you in a box. A very pretty creative box, sure, but I've never really felt comfortable there. Don't get me wrong... I still LOVE design (my posts should show a little of that at the very least), but I find the pressure and other people's expectancy to be cool a bit much. (flashbacks to high school *shudder*)
SO I do what I always do... try to ignore it. Deny it. Only buying things I really like and not things just because they're currently fashionable. Sometimes just plain hiding out in the suburbs helps quite a bit. You know that old trick of signing up to be a library monitor on your first day during lunch because you KNOW it's the wrong thing to do but you love books? - That's what I'm still doing.
Ridiculous? Yes! Childish? Yes. I have no excuse.

So here I am coveting these...
Dammit.



If you like them as much as I do you can get the whole LOT of them as part of their launch special over at Tattly

Unbeleafable!

In my defence, I'm surrounded by people who make it impossible not to leap at the opportunity of cheesey wordplay.

These peices are so intricate and beautiful that part of me really itches to try create one... Then my reality returns and the overwhelming thought is WHO HAS TIME? Crepes!

Amazing Cut Leaves Art via Craft:

"Natural leaf carving is actual manual cutting and removal of a leaf's surface to produce an art work on a leaf. The process of carving is performed by artists using tools to carefully remove the surface without cutting or removing the veins. The veins add detail into the subject matter of the carving. The material or most common leaf used in leaf carving is the leaf of a Chinar tree. The Chinar tree is native to India, Pakistan and China. Chinar leaves have a close resemblance to maple leaves."

These next three don't use the Japanese style of keeping the veins of the leaves in tact but are still beautiful! (by Lorenzo Duran via Design Boom)

(Of course I coooould considerrrr spending less time scouring the internet for cool things... Erm... Nah.)

READ it!

This little bit o news on Gizmodo captured my imagination.

It's not that I'm a fan of zombies... I mean who is? (If you are that's definitely not an invitation to meet you as I suspect you're nuts.)

But I am a big fan of this book!

I find it so well written that I describe it as "terrifyingly bloody-well believable!"

But why should I go into a more detailed description when I've found a nice person named Duncan who's done it for me!

World War Z: an oral history of the zombie war is the second zombie book by Max Brooks (Mel Brooks’ son). The first was The Zombie Survival Guide, which I’ve not read, but I believe is basically a lightweight spoof of other ‘survival guides’.The scenario is there was a worldwide zombie outbreak, which pushed humankind to the brink of collapse, but after several years we overcame the walking undead. It’s set in the immediate future, i.e. there are references to current world leaders etc. It’s structured as a series of interviews with some key survivors, ranging from those who first witnessed it, to soldiers who fought in conflict against the zombies.If you ignore the basic zombie plot, this seems to be as much about topics like environmental catastrophe andgeopolitics. The chapters are all set in different locations worldwide, and for the most part are convincing in their attention to detail. There were only a couple of instances which didn’t ring true.There’s lots of nice little surprises along the way too… mainly the way certain country’s fortunes change due to the zombie war, with a few slightly satirical moments to savour....

read the full review on his blog here!

and then READ the book. It makes ya think...

Psst...

Hey you. I know if you could, you would walk around like this the whole day. Masculinity be damned!

Yeah you know who you are... ;)

via Favim.com

Must'ave Mustache

Right interwebs... where can I find these puppies? All I have so far is an image I stumbled upon on a tumblr account. Eep.

I'm assuming (ah assumption. you mother of all...) you can buy them as they have numbers next to them giving a catalog effect.

Thats both the wonder and the problem of this monster we've created. You can find almost anything, but that doesn't mean you're going to necessarily be able to track it down and have it for your very own. This is going to seriously stretch my cyber stalking capabilities, but here goes. If I track them down I'll try to remember to let you all know.

Oh I'd DEFINITELY make space for these!

Could I please have all of these for Christmas? These paintings by Jeremy Geddes are so absolutely beautiful they actually make my chest feel tight.

Via The Given

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If I were more adept at "assembling" and technical things I would so make one of these for the Foo-boy. Noone I know is more fun when it comes to organising the watching meteor showers or spotting iridium flares. It would be a great gift for someone who keeps you aware that there's a universe out there and we've got our tips of our toes just dipped in.

ISS Lamp Alerts You When Space Station is Flying Overhead @Craftzine.com blog

"The International Space Station (ISS) is a marvel of current technology and humanity. Sadly, we often forget it's there.
This light sits on a desk and lights up when the space station passes overhead. It stays lit as long as the station is more than 10 degrees above the horizon.

Being reminded that there are astronauts doing science over our heads every day helps reconnect us with our space program."

"Pahsties" and "Paysties"...

"Pahsties" and "Paysties"... That latter pronunciation has lead to several people being nearly chased out of our house. Mostly of course when my gran is visiting.

Having a Cornish gran and heritage is something I'm quite proud of. Don't get me wrong I love being South African, but I also love the culture, history and beauty of Cornwall. One day (holding thumbs it's soon! November maybe?) I WILL go there and see it for myself. It's a big one on my bucket list.

Pasties have always been a favourite in my family and it's a tradition passed down from mother to daughter even if my surname is very afrikaans. I can braai... and I can make pasties... watchout people. Elite skills these.

I wish I had time to make them more often just as I wish I could see my gran more often. She's such an amazing woman. Brutally honest, quick-witted, hysterically funny and puts up with all of her crazy grand kids only to a point and then you meet her sharp tongue. My mom does keep reassuring us that she definitely still loves us though.
I like to think of Granny June as having plenty of gumption. I've decided on that word in the end to encompass all of the above.

Here now is some pasty love as a sort of dedication to gran's visit last month. Can't wait to have you visit us again!

OH and don't forget. It's PAAAAAHSTIES! ;)

I also managed to find this little guy via Pasties and Cream
A great blog which manages to always trigger my dreams of a visit to Cornwall even more acutely.
Meet Teddy Pasty!

Teddy Pasty™ from Emily Fishpool on Vimeo.